No More Needohs!

ATTENTION: STARTING APRIL 1ST, A BAN HAS BEEN PUT IN PLACE FOR NEEDOHS.

After tireless complaints from teachers, staff, and administration, a strict ban on Needohs has officially taken effect starting Wednesday, April 1st. Why? The popular squishy has recently taken schools by storm, with many students bringing them to their classes. At first, these toys were seemingly harmless, just something to help students focus–but over time, they proved to be doing the opposite. 

Teachers have noted that students with Needohs have seen a decline in grades since their popularity skyrocketed. Not to mention the sheer number of germs that gather on them, especially with people passing them around all day. Those things are practically a health hazard. In fact, many parents and administrators have expressed worries about them actually becoming detrimental to our well-being. That was the main reason for the banning, actually. 

With students focusing more on toys than learning, staff have decided that there needs to be a change. Other students have even said that it’s distracting to their learning–having people throw these toys around. Let alone the messes. The mess is what the custodians after school have to deal with and it’s not fun for them either. As people have been playing with them too much, they can develop a small hole––and worse, they can pop. And we all know what is inside those Needohs: sticky gel. That is something teachers do not want to find on their classroom floors.

Teachers have said that the Needohs don’t even help with “focus”. So much for a toy trying to relieve stress when all it does is cause more inconveniences for those trying to teach. 

“Students don’t really use them to help with focus—they just play with them and are distracted by them. It’s extremely annoying,” said Ms. Hayes, Spanish teacher.

School is supposed to be a learning environment, but it has been shown that in the classroom, Needohs have brought more distractions amongst students and less attention to learning. Multiple students in class just pass or even throw them around instead of listening to their lecture and teachers are getting tired of it. 

So, starting Wednesday, ALL Needohs will be confiscated from the premises of the school. It has gotten so out of hand that if administrators catch even a glimpse of one in a backpack, students shall be sent straight to the principal's office. If a student manages to sneak one into class, the teacher is allowed to confiscate it from that person and lock it in a Needoh box. There are three warnings, just like the phone policy. 

The rules are simple, really; if you follow them, you are good to go. Instead of bringing toys, you can instead bring cards, read books, or even small board games. Just NO Needohs. So, Vikings, be sure to keep those Needohs out of sight.

Happy April Fools'!